8. Stop identify theft before you happen

You have been to soirees and other public spaces where, upon meeting someone new, after Hello drops the inevitable So What Do You Do?

You may cringe when you hear this question, but it doesn’t stop you from asking it yourself. How you make money and spend precious time defines your personality and social worth. You don’t really care whether strangers enjoy what they do. You just need to know if they can help you.

The answer is Yes.
If another’s occupation or leisure time fixation intrigues you, Oh? How Did You Manage That? is an acceptable ruse for How Can I Become You?

People have several careers and professional distractions throughout their lives.

Such endeavors are inevitable, but you can only pursue and fail so many. Find what works for others and adopt their behaviors. Therefore, yes, every interaction is a selfish maneuver. But it’s also an exchange—mutually beneficial.

Be a good resource.

Enlighten others with dazzlement.

Only you know about:
This funky restaurant:

This free parking downtown:

Only you have the perspective of:
This childhood trauma:

Your secret dream:

Just as important as identity construction is identity preservation. Safeguard your Safeway card, pins and SSN, and use different passwords and security questions for all your online accounts.

If you elect to keep savings, far worse than having your good name tarnished, your time wasted or your assets drained is knowing thieves will be having more fun with your identity than you do.

They will get the biggest TV and the tiniest phones you’ve ever seen. They’ll all have LASIK surgery then mountain bike the Andes, and buy the loft with the best view and optical wire everything. Can you imagine the humiliation of someone being better at being you than you?

Guarantee identity by indulging your desires.

Confront the miser within. Become your own thief.

Still keep your information safe—just don’t keep much *in* the safe.


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