7. Declaring your codependence

Knowing thyself isn’t just for personal reference. You need to know who you are so you know how to act when someone special wants to get to know you, especially since, in the end—or for the little ends throughout your life—it may be better if it’s not you who knows you best.

Love is a many splintered thing.
Dalliance, dating, seduction, rejection, all lead to elation or darkest woe. Perhaps you have been the target of a stray arrow. Worse, you may fall for someone who doesn’t know you don’t exist.

You may progress deep only to endure—or commit—equally deep transgressions, slashing hearts, shattering lives, abusing emotions and causing irreparable harm to one’s capacity to trust ever again and/or cope with existence in general.

But after a thoughtful search for a combatable match—a trial of process, error and compromise—you may be inspired to profess significant otherness and make a declaration of codependence.

Go for it.
You follow the trends. You know the risks.* But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to outwit statistics and imagine into reality full romancipation.

With your sweetmeat ever at your side, you benefit losing personal freedom. You hazard happiness and peace of mind as you share with your tolerated one your troubles and anxieties then feel them fall apart with the power of empathy or get demeaned to the point where you don’t discuss them anymore.

That’s not so terrible, even for the selfish, and commitment isn’t about increasing your burden by taking on another’s, but exchanging support and helping each other achieve joy.

So trade those vows. Give misery its company.
Practice affection and positive reinforcement. Lives will get messy, but we all know one vacuum cleaner is cheaper than two.

After all:




* Past performance does not guarantee future results. Insufficient communication, less than satisfactory principle, faulty mutual trust and unforeseen maturity gaps may complicate the shared life investment—especially once the period of grace has elapsed. Even if the synergy with merging is at a premium, over time, endowments and overall performance will degrade—yours included. Additionally, merging assets for the production of yield may provide subsequent future securities. However, the initial investment is substantial and the outcome may not be favorable. Even the brilliant and well intentioned produce mean results.

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